contract vs. covenant
posted by matt beres | | Posted On 7.18.2009 at 11:21 AM
how do we view the relationships in our life? do we view them more as contracts or covenants?
in relationships you can live by a contract - which says, "you do this for me, i do that for you."
or you can live by a covenant - which says, "i am committed to you no matter what."
it's easy to live by contracts with people. we can make up check lists in our heads and check off the boxes that meet expectations. when expectations aren't met we feel validated for your reactions and frustrations. when the list is consistently unmet we walk away from the relationship all together. the relationship is entirely focused on self and selfish needs.
a covenant relationship is much harder. covenant relationships are based on commitments. a relationship based on covenant makes the choice to love even when it's hard. when the other person isn't reacting the way we'd like - we don't give up. when things change or we feel like the relationship is unsettling, we plow through and show love anyways. we give the other person space to do what they need to do and become who they need to become. the relationship isn't about us at all.
think about the relationships in your life.
contract relationships come and go. they are easy to form. they hold value - yes, but based on what?
covenant relationships are hard to come by. they might feel uneasy at times, but you both know you're committed to the other person's good.
don't take the easy way out. do work in the relationships god has put in your life.
in relationships you can live by a contract - which says, "you do this for me, i do that for you."
or you can live by a covenant - which says, "i am committed to you no matter what."
it's easy to live by contracts with people. we can make up check lists in our heads and check off the boxes that meet expectations. when expectations aren't met we feel validated for your reactions and frustrations. when the list is consistently unmet we walk away from the relationship all together. the relationship is entirely focused on self and selfish needs.
a covenant relationship is much harder. covenant relationships are based on commitments. a relationship based on covenant makes the choice to love even when it's hard. when the other person isn't reacting the way we'd like - we don't give up. when things change or we feel like the relationship is unsettling, we plow through and show love anyways. we give the other person space to do what they need to do and become who they need to become. the relationship isn't about us at all.
think about the relationships in your life.
contract relationships come and go. they are easy to form. they hold value - yes, but based on what?
covenant relationships are hard to come by. they might feel uneasy at times, but you both know you're committed to the other person's good.
don't take the easy way out. do work in the relationships god has put in your life.
Posts
Such a good post! Why would anyone want the contract?!
Hope to see ya this Sunday at the Mission:Possible event in KidStuf. Stop by and say hi if ya get a chance
T